勇气是一种普遍欣赏的质量。在每个年龄段的世界各个文化中都被庆祝。It’s one of the four “tactical virtues” of masculinity。And it serves as not only the foundation of masculine excellence, but ofevery作为Winston Churchill所观察到的，它的类型：“勇气是正确地尊重人类素质的第一个。。。因为它是保证所有其他人的质量。“
虽然我们经常在物理勇敢的勇气方面想到勇气 - 冒着生命和肢体来拯救一个孩子从燃烧的建筑物中拯救一个孩子 - 我们也呼吁在道德和社交场合的这种品质。我们需要勇于与新人交谈，争取我们的信仰，开始业务，改变职业，搬到一个新的地方，或者在教堂，俱乐部或商务会议中的声音。这是我们在任何情况下使用的质量，大或小，其中甚至存在最小的恐惧和风险，并且这些恐惧和风险都是几乎每天都在。
幸运的是，勇气不是你刚出生的东西。这是一种可以故意开发的质量。正如罗伯特比斯瓦斯二恩把它放在一起勇气商量, “courage is a habit, it is a practice, and it is a skill that can be learned.”
Today we’ll show you how.
How to Become More Courageous
It’s often been said that courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the ability to feel fear, but act anyway.
Fear itself isn’t a bad thing. It sometimes warns you of legitimate threats and primes you physiologically to be ready and alert for whatever comes next. As Biswas-Diener puts it, “the very experience of fear itself is the tip-off moment, the signal that a possibility for action is opening up and so a choice needs to be made . . . fear is the first step towards courage. It can be the catapult that launches us forward into heroic actions, both large and small.” Fear awakens us to the fact that an opportunity has arrived.
Fear only becomes a problem when it isn’t proportional to the actual risk and/or it hinders you from doing something that is right or will be for your betterment.
While it’s true that courage isn’t the absence of fear, your ability to act in its presence is very much contingent on your ability to suppress and control this emotion. The lower and less paralyzing your fear is, the more able you’ll be to step through it to take action.
Here are some time-tested and research-backed ways to do that:
1. Do reconnaissance to remove aspects of the unknown.
The less we know about something, the more we inflate our risk-assessment of it. Uncertainty breeds fear.
减少不确定性,从而减少nerves, do as much reconnaissance as you can into an event/situation you’ll be walking into. Gather as much information as possible. Do a dry run.
For example, if you’ve got a job interview coming up, drive over to where it will be held the day before, so you know how to get there, how long the drive will take, and where to park. Do some research on the company, and on the interviewer too, if possible. Figure out how current employees dress (watch them leave the office at the end of the day if needed),so you can gauge how to dress yourself。
或者你担心公众演讲活动you’ve got coming up, visit the classroom or auditorium in which you’ll give the speech beforehand. Stand on the stage to envision what it will be like to give your address.
Things are less scary, the more you know what to expect.
2. Use relaxation techniques.
3. Get skilled.
你可能听说过“旁观者效应”;的well-documented phenomenon in which people are less likely to render aid or address a wrongdoing when they’re in a crowd, than when they’re by themselves. Research has found that part of the reason for this effect, is that folks figure someone else will step in to help — someone who’s more qualified than they are to do so. People may want to help, but don’t know how. Conversely, and not so surprisingly, research also shows that bystanders who feelcompetent, are more likely to come to the aid of others.
Given the diversity of scenarios that involve risk and danger, it pays to develop a wide range of skills, from self-defense and first aid, to automative repair and the ability to speak a foreign language.你的程度越大savoir-faire— the knowledge of what to do in any situation — the braver a man you’ll be.
Though the power of being in a group context is usually thought of in a negative way — people using the anonymity of the crowd to hide or give in to their worst impulses — it also works the other way around too; the presence of friends and family can increase your willingness to act in positive directions.
Loved ones provide accountability; if you tell them you’re doing something, the dread of shame will spur you to keep your word.
The presence of family and friends can also impart a source of comfort and confidence that tamps down fear. This is true if they’re just present with you, and doubly so if they’re willing to participate alongside you. Much courage is gained in the “If you do it, I’ll do it too!” dynamic. There’s less to fear when you’re doing something together, with others who have your back.
Indeed,researchshows that the more cohesive the members of a group — the better friends they are — the less likely they are to be inhibited by the bystander effect and the more likely they are to take positive action in a critical, dangerous situation. This is particularly true of anall-male团体。称之为“兄弟乐队”的效果。
5. Carry a talisman.
You might think that the use of lucky charms or religious totems is irrational, but if they’re scientifically proven to give you more confidence, their use might be thought of as anything but.Research has indeed shown良好的运气魅力有效地提高了心理和物理任务的性能。事实证明，运动员穿上幸运内衣或在游戏前吃婴儿用餐的东西。
在你感到紧张的情况下利用魔法思维，穿着或携带特别的“图腾”的力量。这可能是一件衣服或珠宝（如爷爷的老手表），纪念品，纪念品，硬币或照片。任何对你有特殊意义的东西让你感到更平静和自信 - 你相信的任何东西都是提供保护力的最小机会，给你好的joo-joo，或者只是在你的步骤中放置一些pep。即使你不是一个迷信的思想家，它也可能仍然提供额外的舒适感。
6. Think of yourself less.
The more you think about yourself, the more scared you get about acting. Egocentrism ratchets fear up and makes your performance go down. When you focus on how you’re doing and how you’re feeling, when you believe everyone is watching you, you get self-conscious, and when you get self-conscious, you get paralyzed and awkward.
The more you shift your focus outward, the more courageous you’ll feel.
Focus on other people’s feelings instead of your own. Rather than thinking about how you’re coming off to someone new you’re talking to,think about howshe’sdoing。Is she having a good time? What can you do to put her at ease?
In other situations, focus on a mission or purpose, a sense of service, instead of your own vulnerabilities. Subsume yourself in a cause greater than yourself.
7. Lean into your role.
Related to the above point, an effective way to become less self-conscious is to think of the actions you need to take as growing out of the role you’re in, and what that role requires in terms of your responsibilities and obligations to others. This creates a more impersonal mode of operation that can liberate you to greater boldness.
The reaction of first responders, who run towards danger instead of away from it, is facilitated by the fact that they know that that’s their role. In such situations they become less Tom, Dick, or Harry, and more a firefighter, a police officer, a medic; their identity becomes less personal and more about the job they have to do.
A father who feels a little intimidated about standing up to his child’s principal, may feel more emboldened in remembering that he is the patriarch of his family, charged with protecting his children. A guy who often feels shy as a party guest, may actually come out of his shell more as a party host, who has a specific role, and clearly-delineated duties to tend to. A supervisor who believes his job is to look out for his subordinates, can feel empowered to stand up for them against an unfair edict handed down by the higher ups.
8. Exercise 20 seconds of insane courage.
In the movie,We Bought a ZooMatt Damon的角色告诉他的儿子，谁在努力与他喜欢的女孩分享他的感情，“你知道，有时你所需要的只是二十秒的疯狂勇气。刚刚几秒钟只是令人尴尬的勇气。我向你保证，伟大的东西会来到它。“
All you need is a single moment of crazy courage to press send on a text apologizing to an old friend, or to dial a number to ask a contact about a job opportunity, or to confess your feelings to a long-standing crush.
And that can literally be all it takes to change the entire contour of your life.
9. Do something scary once a week.
Courage is well thought of as a muscle that needs regular training to be kept strong. You can’t expect never to exercise your bravery, and then somehow be able to call upon it in an emergency. It has to be kept “in shape” through small choices, for you to be able to employ it in the service of big ones.
You can keep your courage strong by challenging yourself to do one small thing each week that requires a bit of fear and risk — anything that makes you a little nervous. This could mean eating at a restaurant that intimidates you (like a very authentic Chinese place where you’re not familiar with the dishes and the employees don’t speak much English), talking to a stranger, negotiating the price of something (even your morning coffee), visiting a house of worship you’ve never been to before, inviting people over for dinner, etc.
See how many consecutive weeks of this “courage challenge” you can string together, and when a truly scary situation gets thrown at you down the road, you’ll find you have the ability to face it with a braver heart.
Related Resources and Further Reading: